The house just got very small

I’ve felt very comfortable about our house size.  While going through our IUI/IVF tries we knew that we had the possibility of twins and even then small threat of triplets.  Triplets scared the shit out of me, but we did everything possible to make sure that wouldn’t happen.  We followed the true percentages and we are just looking forward to the singular baby boy.

So here we are in our 2 1/2 story house, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 living rooms, you know, enough room for 3 to 5 people, easy.  We went to a Divine Consign sale this past weekend. Our first baby shop-fest!   I was so stoked that we found a baby jogging stroller for half price.  It’ll be perfect for walking around the neighborhood and to use camping and what not.  We found a few other cool things, a bunch of onesies, wiper warmer, the tiniest Crocs I’ve ever seen, and some maternity clothes.  A successful shop!

We went to leave and out in the parking lot we were staring at the stroller, in all it’s massiveness, then looking at the new mommy mobile.  It was dark, we were clueless and suddenly totally embarrassed.  Mandy jumped in the front, I jumped in the back.  We threw down the seats and stuffed the sucker in the back as fast as possible, unfolded, still in one piece.  I know there were seasoned parents in that parking lot completely entertained by our ignorance.  We silently (and quickly) drove out of the lot.  A minute or two later we both laughed and realized we were just initiated into a world that is totally foreign to us.

When we got home that night I ignored the beast in the back.  We are surrounded by parents in the neighborhood, I really wanted to wait until 3 in the morning to take that thing out, trying to avoid the ribbing.  The next morning I got the bags out, put all the clothes in the laundry, feeling great about everything.  Look at the size of a onesie, you could fit 100 of them in a drawer.  This is gonna be a piece of cake!  I finally gave in and went to get the stroller out.  In broad day light I still couldn’t figure the stupid thing out, so I threw it over my head and just carried it over the car into the house.  Whatever, it worked.  Nothing felt that wrong until I brought it up stairs into the guest room, put the stroller in the corner and looked around.  If it was a scene in a movie you’d hear a sucking sound and watch the house collapse into a tiny room.  H-o-l-y c-r-a-p, this house is about to go from half empty to full.  Reality smacked me in the forehead at 9:30 am this past Sunday.

Shit.